Lowering The Gradients Considering The Persona Of The Girl

When we are talking about subjects such as "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Are you able to relate to women?", I usually get asked about the best way to begin getting physical with a girl that you have known as a pal for awhile.

Getting physical is something that generally occurs naturally between a man and a woman more than a three month period unless one or both of them is really uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is not comfortable with approaching a woman for a physical relationship, the main thing that a guy can do to take care of that is learn how to observe and use gradients.

Exactly what are gradients? Gradients are just like steps on a ladder that you climb to get to the top. Some guys might try to go to the top level of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable and also the guy.

A man who is uncomfortable in this area should learn both how to identify gradients when women use them and the way to use gradients on women.

Not all women will begin at the same gradient. Some women will start with a kiss after a first date, and proceed gradually or quickly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to sexual relations. If a man tries to leap to the "sexual relations" step without going through the other gradients, he might just lose the girl. Conversely, you can lose a girl as you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other women won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss till the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, talking about sexual subjects indirectly (for instance commiserating about an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you as you stroll), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you stroll, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.

If you are uncomfortable with this area and wish to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, notice where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then lead her up the gradients gently. As long as you don't by pass a lot of gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients swiftly or slowly depending on her personality.

If she is not interested, she probably won't move up. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't move up, try talking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be friends.

Don't forget that most women won't go out on a "date" with you unless of course they are already vaguely okay with the concept of getting physical with you. Thus you may need to clarify if you are dating or just "hanging out."

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